Here's to the things that are yet to come and to the memories that we hold!

New Year!2010!Sounds so scary,such a big number that will now be written on every page of my agenda,every day, for one year until it becomes even more scarier.
It's a cliche,but it's true - this is the time of the year when we question the past and when we plan the future. Not everything is up to us, of course, but our actions speak louder than words, shape the future events and make us who we are.
When I was younger, I used to have a thing for NY, festive mood,loaded with positive emotions and true excitement. I couldn't wait to take a shower,put make up,prepare myself for 2 hours in advance and then just go....without questioning how it might be,should I go,who will be there...I didn't care! But, as I am becoming older I am becoming more and more depressed, doubtful,unhappy...Like I want to make myself unhappy and miserable. Before every single going out,I behave like a child, I need someone to push me and tell me that it's gonna be fun, that I am boring young beautiful girl sitting at home....missing the fun....For the last, I think, 3 NYs I had the worst time ever, cause I created it and I made it so. I wasn't satisfied with people,with music,with the way I look so instead of fighting against it or just enjoy that one night in a year to the fullest, I was desperate and bored.Of course, alcohol has that strange ability to shape the mood, of course if you let it take control over you - you are screwed, but depending on your mood,it just adds up a bit of sadness or happiness.But I love it!I love the feeling when it starts relaxing your brain,when your thoughts are just freely floating...and you talk/laugh with your friends.
My generation,'86, drinks a lot!!!!I don;t have a single friend who doesn't drink alcohol!Unfortunately, there are no regulations concerning buying/selling it back home, so it's widely available to anyone who needs it, the same as for the ciggies. 24/7 :)In Italy, you mainly buy it in the supermarkets because it's much cheaper. Wine for example,is not expensive at all.
Today and tomorrow everything is closed. Milan is very lonely now :)No single soul on the street. My temporary roommate is leaving me tomorrow and I will be alone for 2 nights! For the first time,can't wait!
Studying isn't going at all.